I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
