i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
