i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
