forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
