I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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