I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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