at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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