jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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