physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
