i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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