This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
