if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
