She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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