IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Are my feet made of real feet?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
