She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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