ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
