yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
