So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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