his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
