I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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