Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
