when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
