So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Still dying that you shit outside
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
