The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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