There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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