Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
