im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
