she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
