she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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