Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i now understand why vodka
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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