I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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