its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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