You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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