I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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