Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
