I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
