Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
