Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
