I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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