kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
