I wish my penis had an off switch
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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