He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
