i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
