i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
