She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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