32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
