I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
