There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
