She's JV to your varsity
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
