omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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